i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
