i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
