Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
