I am puke
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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