I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
