yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize