She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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