So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize