ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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