can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
