just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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