talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
