So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
