I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
