I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize