I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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