Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
