I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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