We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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