With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
