i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
