i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
