thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
