Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
