yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
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i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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