What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
