Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
