evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I will be naked everywhere
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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