he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
