Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
