is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
