the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
