its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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