Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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