Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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