A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
