If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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