Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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