Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
They have beer where we have blood.
The power of my boobs compel you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
