My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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