I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
