Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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