I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize