4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
