he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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