That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
