guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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