I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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