just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
