I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
please come you make the beer taste better
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
