I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
