you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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