i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
