just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
