Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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