I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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