do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
