I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
