I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
