he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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