Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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