How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
