you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
